The Sriracha Smackdown

And the winner is...

Well hold on, I don't give away answers for free...you'll need to read to the bottom (or just scroll, lazy reader). For those of you who haven't kept up, here is the premise of the test. Bascially, we went in blindfolded and tasted a ton of srirachas to determine which had the best flavor and texture - and see if we could identify the rooster. Check here to see our list. We made some tweaks to the original concept - didn't do the food round since we had so many srirachas (19 to be exact) and were afraid of burnout. Better to go naked.

Update as of 7/21/2013: We've also completed ROUND 2! Be sure to check it out!

First, meet our judges and crew. I was on the panel as the premier expert, of course (I didn't correctly identify the rooster though, so call it what you will). Jeanette Volmer and Juli Johnston, avid sriracha fans and fans of spicy food, joined our crew. Dan Hathaway was the administer and Alan Hise took these wonderful photos.

The scoring was supremely simple. Well ok, for those of you that know me, I don't do anything "simple" (at least to others). So here is how it goes.

Taste: We evaluated overall taste on a score of 1 to 5 where where 1 was not edible and 5 was an indicator that this sauce should go on everything. We took into account taste complexity, pleasurable flavor, good texture - just our overall enjoyment. This category was given a weight of 3 and was the most important category.

Heat: We then evaluated heat level on a score from 1 to 5. Because the essence of a supreme sriracha is to bring on the heat, we added a score with a weight of 1 (heat being favored). The lower weight reflects the fact that we didn't want to punish a flavorful sriracha that doesn't light one's head aflame - sometimes too much heat without good flavor can destroy food as well.

Visual consistency: We then evaluated visual consistency, with 1 for thin and smooth to 5 for thick and gloppy. In this case, a score of 3 is just right (not too gloppy and not too runny), and all srirachas received a bonus score of 2 if they scored a 3. You can see the photos below with sauce running down a plate.

Fun bottle: Bottle art was also ranked from 1 to 5, where 1 was a pretty boring bottle and 5 was so fun that we would buy even if the sriracha tasted pretty bad (well, maybe that's just me). This was given a weight of 1 as well. Looks aren't everything though.

Health: Finally, I've identified the srirachas that do not have artificial preservatives (rooster would be eliminated), since we've had requests to highlight the "healthier" srirachas. We decided not to use this in the final scoring, but we will highlight the healthier sauces.

Taste: 2.3/5
Heat: 3/5
Consistency: 5/5
Bottle Art: 2/5
Artificial Preservatives: No

Ranked: 19

Bottle Art Comment: Come on, be more creative, folks.

Taste Comment: A mouthful of bitter rusty metal, and a bit salty. Had an interesting thick texture but also some grittiness.

Taste: 3.3/5
Heat: 1.3/5
Consistency: 1/5
Bottle Art: 2.3/5
Artificial Preservatives: No

Ranked: 18

Bottle Art Comment: The shark is awesome, but they label features the chilis. Should be the other way around.

Taste Comment: Vinegary, very sweet, no heat but a smoky flavor and a little bit of garlic. Thin consistency. Almost tomato-like.

Taste: 3.7/5
Heat: 1/5
Consistency:  2/5
Bottle Art: 1.7/5
Artificial Preservatives: No

Ranked: 17

Bottle Art Comment: Just chilis, yawn.

Taste Comment: Very sweet, barely any heat, some slight tartness similar to ketchup. Has garlic notes. Fruity-light in texture, and very smooth and runny.

Taste: 3/5
Heat: 1.3/5
Consistency: 3/5
Bottle Art: 1.7/5
Artificial Preservatives: Yes (MSG, potassium sorbate)

Ranked: 16

Bottle Art Comment: Just chilis, but good use of light and color.

Taste Comment: Baby's first sriracha. A bit chunky, very sweet, tangy, and ketchup-like. Sweet and tangy. Smooth and thick.

Taste: 3.3/5, Heat: 2.7/5
Consistency: 5/5, Bottle Art: 2/5
Ranked: 15
Artificial Preservatives: Yes (sodium bisulfate)

Bottle Art Comment: The dragonfly is neat, but could be bigger.
Taste Comment: Mildly sweet, tangy with vinegar, very flavorful. Some garlic and metallic notes. Runny but smooth tomato-like base, similar to ketchup.

Taste: 3/5
Heat: 3.3/5
Consistency: 2/5
Bottle Art: 3.3/5
Artificial Preservatives: No

Ranked: 14

Bottle Art Comment: Simple but effective, and very cute.

Taste Comment: Sweet and metallic with a vinegar bite and fruity notes, but gritty, almost dirty. Lingers on the tongue. Had an aftertaste of...schnapps?

Taste: 3.3/5
Heat: 3.7/5
Consistency: 1/5
Bottle Art: 2.3/5
Artificial Preservatives: No

Ranked: 13

Bottle Art Comment: The shark is awesome, but they label features the chilis. Should be the other way around.

Taste Comment: Basically thin but spicy ketchup. Totally sugary and takes over the palate. Good heat but not too much. Extremely runny.

Taste: 3.7/5
Heat: 3.8/5
Consistency: 5/5
Bottle Art: 1.7/5
Artificial Preservatives: No, but does have vitamin C which is produced artificially
Ranked: 12

Bottle Art Comment: Boring logo, but full of color.
Taste Comment: A bundle of sweet heat with a hint of garlic and a paprika finish, but unpleasant aftertaste. Sludgy but gritty ketchup - like molasses.

Taste: 3.2/5
Heat: 4.5/5
Consistency: 2/5
Bottle Art: 2.7/5
Artificial Preservatives: No

Ranked: 11

Bottle Art Comment: Lots of color, but where is the mountain?

Taste Comment: All garlic and heat, followed by sweet and metallic. Overpowering flavor. Thin and runny.

Taste: 4.2/5
Heat: 2.3/5
Consistency: 2/5
Bottle Art: 2/5
Artificial Preservatives: No

Ranked: 10

Bottle Art Comment: No logo, but a big bold font.

Taste Comment: Very flavorful, fruity, garlic notes, sparkling chilis. Good balance and very fun. Texture was runny.

Taste: 3/5
Heat: 2.3/5
Consistency: 3/5
Bottle Art: 5/5
Ranked: 9
Artificial Preservatives: Yes (potassium sorbate)

Bottle Art Comment: These dragons are definitely sexy, font is bold and inspiring.
Taste Comment: A complex flavor of copper, garlic and salt - no sweetness. A bit too salty and not well blended. Filmy and gritty on the tongue, but a good consistency (not too runny or gloppy).

Taste: 3.7/5
Heat: 2/5
Consistency: 2/5
Bottle Art: 3.7/5
Artificial Preservatives: No
Ranked: 8

Bottle Art Comment: Simple but effective, and very cute.
Taste Comment: As sweet as ketchup, but would go great on a hot dog and pleasant on the palate. Garlic seemed to be the top flavor, not too much heat. A little runny and gritty.

Taste: 2.8/5
Heat: 3.5/5
Consistency: 3/5
Bottle Art: 5/5
Artificial Preservatives: Yes (sodium bisulfite, potassium sorbate)

Ranked: 7

Bottle Art Comment: Uncle Chen is so darn cute! Daw.

Taste Comment: Hot salty bomb of copper and mace. Tasted like spicy soy sauce with a vinegar undertone. Gritty texture. 

Taste: 4/5

Heat: 3.7/5
Consistency: 4/5
Bottle Art: 3.7/5
Artificial Preservatives: Yes (MSG)

Ranked: 6

Bottle Art Comment: It's like a rooster. But a goose. Win.

Taste Comment: Decent texture - a little on the chunky side, some particulates. Garlicky, smoky, and salty with a nice linger to it. Good burn.

Taste: 3.2/5
Heat: 3.3/5
Consistency: 3/5
Bottle Art: 5/5
Artificial Preservatives: No

Ranked: 5

Bottle Art Comment: Dragons are epic. Enough said.

Taste Comment: Sweet and garlic with hints of ginger, barely sweet and mostly hot. Flavor grows with time (good aftertaste). Gritty texture.

Taste: 3.7/5, Heat: 5/5
Consistency: 5/5, Bottle Art: 4/5
Ranked: 4
Artificial Preservatives: Yes (potassium sorbate)
Bottle Art Comment: The tiger is a definite win, and artfully drawn yet simple and fun.
Taste Comment: Starts out with mild heat with a sweetness that is just right. Then turns into a hot bomb. Ketchupy in texture.

Taste: 4.7/5
Heat: 3.5/5
Consistency: 4/5
Bottle Art: 2.7/5
Artificial Preservatives: No

Ranked: 3

Bottle Art Comment: Elephant is cute, but they could have tried a little harder.

Taste Comment: Pure sweet heat with a burst of garlic, a little metallic but very fun. Perfect blend of hot and taste. Consistency is a little thick.

Taste: 3.2/5
Heat: 4.3/5
Consistency: 3/5
Bottle Art: 4.7/5
Artificial Preservatives: No

Ranked: 2

Bottle Art Comment: The phoenix rocks, and love the curly font.

Taste Comment: Tangy and vinegary, but also sweet, with a bold kick. Hits in the back of the throat, breaking a sweat.

Drum roll please....

Taste: 3.7/5
Heat: 3.3/5
Consistency: 3/5
Bottle Art: 4.7/5
Artificial Preservatives: Yes (sodium bisulfite, potassium sorbate)

Ranked: 1

Bottle Art Comment: It's just iconic.

Taste Comment: Not for sissies. Heat was powerful and bold, good balance of garlic undertone, salt, and peppers. Had a natural sweetness that wasn't overpowering. Slightly metallic finish. Great texture.

Well there you have it, folks. A month of gathering the best in the business and it came down to the rooster after all. By the way, none of us correctly identified the rooster, and I was shocked that I didn't give it the best taste rating out of the bunch. In fact, my raw notes say that I found it metallic and somewhat overpowering. I was fooled! Maybe rooster has a little hipster hype after all. However, buffered by the judging panel, we as a team selected rooster for all that it gives - great taste and texture, amazing heat, and fun bottle.

Note that bottle art and consistency played a heavy role in the winner. If taste were all that matters, Harris Teeter would have won. For the healthier sriracha, Sky Valley takes the prize (but Harris Teeter, also free of artificial preservatives, still won best flavor). Sadly, Harris Teeter is only available from Harris Teeter stores on the east coast. Bummer.

Call our bluff or don't like the choices, and want a do-over? Want to try it yourself? Let us know! Use our scores and try playing around with the weights and coming up with a winner that met your sriracha objectives.

Does anyone want us to mail them a bottle? What am I going to do with all of these srirachas?

Update as of 7/20//2013: Don't forget to check out the results of ROUND 2!